Health Science Reviews

by Siyabonga Msipa

Back in my undergrad days, I used to stress a lot about not feeling “good enough.” If I didn’t get a good mark on a test or exam, I would think I wasn’t smart enough. If I took a break, I’d feel guilty for slacking off and not being disciplined enough. The fact that I didn’t get into a program I applied for, both in undergrad and postgrad, made me feel like I wasn’t talented enough or worthy enough to be in those programs. Ultimately, I felt as if life was not going the way I had planned.

For the longest time I have let my failures and any setback I faced in life define my self-worth. But I realized that fixating on my failures in comparison to the success I should have experienced only served to undermine my confidence and led me to setting unrealistic standards for myself which further contributed to the pressure and anxiety I already had. In addition to this I was also too afraid of failing and as a result of this fear I held back from grabbing opportunities that came up. This battle between pushing myself while still being afraid became so overwhelming until I finally realized that I needed to make a change.

In the ongoing battle between pushing myself and the fear of failure, I have come to appreciate the delicate balance between ambition and self-care. It’s not about eradicating fear but understanding it, learning from it, and using it as a source of motivation. I learned not to define my self-worth by my ability to meet certain goals or achievements.  I’m more determined not to chase my goals just to prove something to myself or to others.

Getting a lower grade on an exam doesn’t mean I’m not smart; it means I can learn and improve where I need to. The rejection from those programs? It stung; I am honestly not going to lie. But now, I like to see it as a plot twist rather than the climax of my story. It pushed me to explore other paths, discover new interests that I had not known, and ultimately, it helped me grow. Each rejection and disappointment I had to face was, in fact, an opportunity for learning, growing and refining my resilience.

The fear of failure turned into a catalyst for action. I am learning that success often emerges from the willingness to step into the unknown, to confront challenges head-on, and to use each experience—whether positive or negative—as a stepping stone toward true personal growth. Throughout this year, I also discovered the strength in vulnerability. Sharing and acknowledging my fears with other people around me created a supportive community for me. I began to understand that everyone encounters moments of self-doubt, and this helped me to feel less alone and more connected to others.

I am now learning to be kinder to myself, by acknowledging that failure is a possibility, I am preparing myself mentally and emotionally to handle the challenges along the way. Life’s unpredictability is what makes it beautiful, and my worth is not reliant on a checklist of achievements. I am rewriting my narrative, one that acknowledges the resilience within, embraces the unknown, and values the journey as much as the destination.