Health Science Reviews

by Mbalentle Madolo

If someone would have told 23-year-old Mbali, a young budding scientist that had just been accepted into the honours programme of her dreams, that her honours year would leave her feeling emotionally drained, she would have told you that you are lying, but sadly it is absolutely true. Now don’t get me wrong, Clinical Anatomy still remains my passion and the fact that I was selected amongst many who applied to be a part of this honours cohort is something I don’t take lightly, but it can’t be escaped that this year has been one of my toughest years to date.

The academic content covered so far has been extremely interesting but also difficult to grasp. The challenges that I have faced so far this year go beyond handling academic stress and delve into the emotional turmoil that this year induced. As a black woman, I can’t say that I have been able to look around and see a lot of people who look like me in this field, something that has always bothered me when looking at the sciences as a discipline overall (in my opinion of course). It was this year where my imposter syndrome truly kicked in, and this left me feeling as though I was not fit to do this honors programme, like I was not intellectual enough, like I was too old etc. Granted, these feelings were fueled by academic stress and the fact that we are still living through a world-wide pandemic, but they were mostly exacerbated by how I felt that I could not speak to anyone about how I was struggling to adjust or ask for assistance as I felt that no one would understand.

On the bright side, the support that I have received from my mother and classmates has been absolutely amazing, hence why I find myself happier. I find myself going back to that 23-year-old Mbali who was ready to take on the world and, as cliché as it sounds, cement myself in the science community as a force to be reckoned with! This change came about because I decided to reach out to those around me, that included calling my family whenever I was overwhelmed instead of bottling up my emotions. It also included talking to my classmates about my anxiety, or even asking for assistance with understanding course material if needed. Because of that I will be eternally grateful to the Clinical Anatomy Honours Class of 2021. The friendship and support they have given me is unmatched, I discovered that I was not the only one feeling emotionally drained and overwhelmed, I discovered that I was not the only one having difficulty adjusting…. I discovered that I was not alone.

The first 6 months of my honours degree were extremely challenging for me, but I still recognize how much I have grown not only as a student, but as a person. It’s because of this growth that I am so excited for the next 6 months of this year. The rest of this year will be filled with academic success, further growth and blessings…I can feel it in my bones!

by Luxolo Mdolo

This year has been long. Students have literally seen flames. Many times, I find myself trying to exist in isolation from the world we live in because the show must go on. There have been wars raging in the streets on which I walk. Severe taxi violence incidents have left us fearing for our parents who commute to put food on the table. Strikes and looting have turned the country upside down to reveal a side that we have all been trying so hard to hide in the name of freedom. The COVID 19 pandemic just keeps coming at us in waves – meanwhile the people are so fatigued from trying to keep afloat. I personally do not know how other students do this thing of living each day as though these things do not concern them. I even pay attention to my colleagues in MBChB as they continuously talk about the lives lost to COVID in the wards they work in. I reflect at times and just wonder what form of normality is left to go back to when we have finally overcome this pandemic? How do we mourn the lives lost when we could not even attend their burials or night vigils? It has stripped so much from our understanding of what is important to society. Schools were closed and education of children did not mean anything to anyone. The churches were closed, and religion became an afterthought. Businesses were closed and the economy did what it does best. My grandmother said that the last time she saw so many restrictions was during apartheid. It is interesting how this life never ceases to amaze us.

Anyway, on a lighter note, this year in Honours has given me the greatest gift that medicine (MBChB) continuously failed to offer. Time. I have had time to sit, think and reflect. It gave me the time to do things that I always thought I would do immediately when I got to university. I joined the gym. I found some work to make extra income. I do spur waffle Mondays with my friends. I play soccer with other friends at 4pm twice a week. I go on double dates and baecations. I do educational talks. I run a YouTube channel of 500 subscribers. I love it here. The most amazing thing about this year though is doing an amazing research project with a Supervisor who cares.

One of the biggest fears among the people who are in the intercalated programme like me is the fear of detachment from your classmates in the MBChB class and having to integrate with a new group of students. It is more like a fear of the unknown really because you can easily assume the worst of what could possibly happen. However, I have met the most amazing, easy and outgoing people that just fill up your day with smiles and laughter. I never even thought I would be doing study sessions in coffee shops and building solid friendships with my Honours colleagues. This has been such a holistic experience. The hardship and the joy in my life are at such a wonderful reversible potential. I was even going to make a joke about allostatic load, but I realized that it was too soon. Thank you for reading though.

by Marlu Mclean

When I started Med School in 2018, I was intrigued by the intercalated program they offer at UCT.  I immediately knew I wanted to do it and that it would require me to do well to continue with honours.  Going through the first three years of Medicine, I really enjoyed and gained so much from the interactive learning activities.  I would love to go to campus and spend my days from 8 to 5 running from the lecture theaters to Groote Schuur hospital and back to the anatomy labs.  Coming from a class with 250 students, I looked forward to the 10-student class to build connections, friendships and life-long relationships.  Little did I know how this year will turn out.

From an online open day to registration, introduction and techniques course, I only met the people in my class after 4 weeks of online teaching.  The first week together was amazing, I got to know the people a little bit and got to experience the “real-university life” for the first time this year.  But we soon returned to the “real-COVID-life” again with more online classes, tutorials and a handful of in-person lectures and presentations.  Instead of spending most of my time on campus and in the library, it was now spent in my bedroom, also known as my study and also known as my workout space.  It was just me and my laptop.  The space got smaller and smaller.  I escaped to run trails on the mountain.  I would come back and work without any motivation.  I would leave once a week to see patients in the hospital.  I tried figuring out how to do things in the lab with countless fails.  I got sick and was in bed doing lectures and studying because I didn’t want to fall behind.  It was scary, lonely and hard. 

It was different from what I expected.  Many days I wanted to give up, but through prayer, I was able to fight, learned how to step out of my comfort zone and most how to be resilient in ways I never thought I would have to be.  But today I am grateful for the hard times.  Grateful that I have this amazing opportunity to do something I wanted to do from the start.  I learned that if it wasn’t for the trail running, church, friends, family and their support I wouldn’t have been able to pull through.  I was able to believe God has a bigger plan with this year, even if I can’t see it yet.  I have slowly adjusted to this new “normal” and I am excited that the second semester is here, and I am able to focus on my research without running to class and studying for tests.  Let’s hope this will be the best one yet!

by Vennesa Subbiah

In my short life, there are many experiences that could qualify as metamorphic. At one time or another, every new experience was the first experience and for good or bad, each instance has altered the trajectory of my life. But none have been as daunting and transformative as the day I walked into my Honors year.

My Honors year is something I like to refer to as a happy accident. You could liken it to the first encounter with your best friend – you don’t exactly like each other but give it a few months and you’re as thick as thieves! Don’t get me wrong! This is not to say I’ve mastered my course work because that would be a blatant lie, but more of an appreciation of how I have come to fall in love with the lessons I have learnt from the pressure and challenges of this year.

Unlike most people, my first day of school wasn’t at all exciting. For starters, I was late to my lecture so that was not a good impression at all. Half the time while I was in that lecture, I was daydreaming because my mind was still on ‘holiday-mode’. I was completely unprepared so naturally I was out of place. I felt this way for the first few weeks of the Honors year and waking up early for lectures was not helping me in any way. I have never been a morning person so you must imagine my pain. I was also not eating properly or taking care of myself because I ‘had’ to keep pushing to meet my deadlines and make sure I was prepared for all my classes. Let’s face it, no one likes to be the student who’s constantly behind. I, for one, aim to always be on top of things. So, when I found myself not having a certain level of control over things, everything seemed to stir into a wild frenzy. For someone who’s always organizing almost every aspect of her life, I found it difficult not being able to manage my time properly. I struggled with this, and I still am but I am also learning to take it easy on myself and try my best without punishing myself for not being able to achieve more than I can at that moment.

In between lectures and reading journal articles and attending meetings, I found myself constantly exhausted. I went from having absolutely all the time in the world to having none at all. Most of the time I had, I spent reading through mandatory journal articles. I enjoyed most of them, but I was often lost in the process which meant I had to go over paragraphs multiple times. I have never despised reading so much in my life until I had to read a journal article. But there was an upside to this because I gained certain critical thinking and analytical skills which enabled me to differentiate between excellent pieces of work to those that aren’t. Having Journal Clubs also enabled me to engage with scientific pieces of work in a thorough manner whilst simultaneously improving my competence in formal presentations and public speaking. So, you see, a challenge presented was a lesson I needed to encounter and learn from.

Overall, I haven’t really been too excited about this year. When we started with General Techniques, I was the most miserable person you could find. Many times, I was not finding the purpose of the lectures or why I had to learn the information in front of me. This isn’t quite what I imagined this degree would be like and I absolutely detested every single moment. I contemplated a lot – whether I had made the right decision to come back to school, whether this degree was the right one for me or if I was doing enough. I was not motivated to learn or engage with the material coupled with the hurdle of not having any people around to actively challenge me. Before the pandemic, I saw my colleagues and friends almost daily and we could exchange ideas on how best to study or what better resources were available to help us excel in our work. Now it’s only me. At first it was unusual, but it was a life-changing moment too because it taught me to be more independent and confident in myself and what I am capable of producing. I am deeply grateful for this moment because in the quiet and absence of the world, I found a great power within myself – the power to believe in myself.

With an adjustment in attitude and the start of the actual modules, I found myself falling back in love with the idea of being in a class and learning. It wasn’t a gradual process as some might expect. I just woke up one morning and realized that this is what I was meant to do. It’s crazy when I think about it because it literally boils down to timing. Timing is so important for any person because when you give yourself room to experience life as it is, you find your passion even in the smallest moments. I was so focused on how well I needed to be performing and how hardworking I should have been from the beginning instead of letting time tell me what to do. Ms. Oprah Winfrey always says one should listen to the whispers of the universe. Sometimes the universe is trying to tell us something, whether it is to slow down, to make an adjustment, to change a habit or to work harder at something. My mistake was not listening to the whispers when the universe told me to be patient with myself and the process. I was quick to rush myself and expect certain things out of the year when it had hardly begun. I learnt the hard way through multiple encountered failures, and I can safely say that it is one thing to have goals and aspirations and another to rush those goals based on where you think you need to be instead of where you are meant to be.

It turns out that life isn’t always what it presents itself as. One moment you have things all figured out then the next it’s all shambles and you’re left to pick up the pieces. But no matter how rocky or rough the path may be, it shouldn’t take away from the splendor and beauty that awaits us at each and every step along the way. Because with each and every challenge we’re faced with, we come out stronger and with a greater set of skills to help us face even bigger challenges in future. Not only that but we acquire a heightened knowledge of ourselves and our abilities and how much more we can reach towards.

I walked into this year feeling quite small and afraid at what lay ahead. I’ve been handed jabs, hooks, uppercuts, you name it. But I’ve learnt to fight back too and stand a little taller. Whatever position and path life may place you in, allow yourself to be present in that moment, taking in everything as it comes and appreciating that knowledge is something we can never fully acquire. So yes, there are times where you will be clueless about everything and that’s perfectly okay. But an inquisitive mind that is willing to learn will take you far, far beyond.