A year like no other year!

by Jabulisile Mthethwa

This year has been full of doubts and tears for me. I honestly still feel like I did not make the right study choice. I’d be lying if I can say I am enjoying my honors year. It comes as a surprise if a day goes without me shedding a tear, crying, and screaming in my room alone.

I’d be lying if I can say there is something I really find so easy in my honors. I struggled from day one until today. My mental health has been compromised like never before. I have repeated my experiment more than eight times which just demotivate me even worse. I still get shocked on how I have managed to keep up until this time of a year.

Soon I’ll be required to submit my project thesis draft which seem to be confusing me each day. I question myself about it every day. I still don’t understand what my it is all about, but as confused as I am, I can still be able to wake up each morning and go the lab even though the confusion gets worse each day. I used to understand the quote “nothing comes easy in life”, but I’ve never imagined the kind of struggle that I am through this year. It is so unmeasurable sometimes unbearable.

Let me take you through my short life story, having to adapt to this big city called Cape Town coming from different city, different university has been challenging. Still challenging. Let alone the gap year I took last year, I had to adjust my mentality back into the student mode. I wish someone could have tipped me off on what to expect maybe I could have been prepared myself mentally.

Honors is challenging. Some days you feel like packing your stuff and quit. Some days you don’t feel like waking up because it can really take a lot from a person. I’d say taking a break and taking care of yourself and your mentally health is a necessity in an honors year. Having supportive friends and reaching out for help can never be wrong. I also believe we are different, hence our copying mechanisms, and how we see things and handle things is different.

From an honors student.

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