A Sacrifice Potentially Worth Making

by Kili James

I’m tired. I’m drained. I’m cold. And, my eyes are sore.

These are some feelings I have at the end of my examination period of 2021.

The same feelings I have as I head towards the end of my second year of online learning.

Online learning; I always knew was the way of the future.

It allowed for more people to be educated.

To bridge the gap of inequality between the educated and the unfortunate.

And for this, I agree.  

But I never really thought that the reason why I would do online learning,

Would be

Because of a pandemic

That swept across the globe like wildfire.

A pandemic where inequality is still rife.

Whilst other countries go back to normal.

And our country?

All we do is celebrate small wins like being able to go out for cocktails on a Thursday.

Online learning is difficult.

It always has been and it always will be.

As I look back at the past two years in which I have sat behind my desk,

With no classmates or friends around me.

I look back on how hard I have worked

Because I haven’t had anything else to do. Or anyone to see.

I have worked 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 2 years.

And I am tired.

The hours are long, I know.

Everybody I know, knows.

The only issue is that there is hardly any comfort in knowing there is someone else awake at 3 o’clock in the morning too.

Yet, I am extremely grateful for the education and opportunities I have received.

I am thankful for the university and the lecturers who have taught me.

I have learnt incredible things.

I have engaged with intelligent people.

And, I have seized every opportunity which was given to me.

The only sad thing is that I have done it behind a computer screen,

Behind a mask,

Or a sheet of plexiglass.

We have missed important milestones.

Like graduations, birthdays, and parties.

And although hard at the time,

A sacrifice potentially worth making.

For a new life, similar to our old one.

Possibly a sense of normalcy?

Although I cannot imagine a life anymore,

Without being drowned by sanitizer,

Without the shield of anonymity, we call a mask,

Or without the constant fogged up glasses which I have gotten used to.

But to get back to the way life was?

It is a sacrifice potentially worth making.

But until then, online school it is.

And until then, I will be tired, I will be drained, I will be cold and my eyes will be sore.

But to me, it is a sacrifice potentially worth making.

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