Health Science Reviews

by Saba Gebreseilassie

My honours year started with the amazing news that my application to the BMedSci (Hons) in Neuroscience at UCT was successful. I had received a conditional offer last year, but that was not enough for my heart to rest. With various other responses coming in asynchronously, some positive and some negative, the only one that mattered was this one. The application that would set me on track to achieve my dreams in neuroscience. And when it finally came through, I set out to have the best year of my life.

Even with initial funding struggles and a few bumps in the road, my head was still high because I was where I wanted to be, even if the rest of my life hadn’t caught up. Just as I caught my breath after settling in and securing funding for this year, it became apparent that I would need to start making plans for the future. Where to from here?

I hadn’t even written my first exam for this course, and I was pressured to start thinking about my next step. Naturally I wanted to continue in academia, but this requires funding and a well-developed portfolio. And so began the era of endless applications. In the middle of attending module lectures and preparing for presentations and assignments, I had to learn how to write about myself with praise and assemble evidence of my capabilities as a student. Thankfully, I received immense support and advice from my supervisors, previous lecturers, and mentors, which I am eternally grateful for. However, it was still very difficult to keep up with all the deadlines, manage my academics, stay creative enough to approach things with a fresh perspective, and find time for myself.

And this led me to pause and reflect. Isn’t this enough? Surely now that I’m here my future is secure, so why do I still feel this overwhelming pressure to do and be…more? I realised how every goal in my journey had turned so quickly into a stepping stone, simply a means to an end. Even though just months ago, it seemed a mountain that needed to be summited. I deliberated on this perspective for a while, not understanding myself, and condensing these feelings to a lack of gratitude and respect for my achievements. But it was far from that. In fact, the opposite.

I realised that gratitude is not just being comfortable with where you are because it is good enough but rather making use of where you are to push yourself further, higher. Yes, I have achieved success and should be proud of myself, but I also need to recognise the opportunities I have been presented with and the space I am taking up and to make the most of it. So that even though I look back at my past self who would have given anything to be in the spaces I walk into without batting an eyelid, I can also look toward the future me whose Tuesday is my dream.

With this I say to you, reader: it is not that we wake up from vast dreams to limited reality; instead, we step out of sleep into actionable space – dreams are only a blueprint, not our ceiling.