Health Science Reviews

By Emma van der Velden

My Honours year felt like an endless swim in the deep end of a very large, very cold pool. A pool filled with crocodiles. And some kind of mysterious waterborne disease. The relentless coursework and research were often overwhelming, leaving me more confused than when I started. But somewhere in all that treading water, I started to gain perspective and that made the swim a little easier.

I wish I could say the workload got better. No. That never happened. The crocodiles and diseases got me every time. I have almost no recollection of how I managed to complete each deadline. From what I’ve been told, it was a brutal and bloody war each time with absolutely no grace.

What changed wasn’t the workload, but my view of how I fitted into my research and into UCT. That shift in perspective is something I’ll carry with me long after this year. I came to understand how small my experience was in the grand scheme of things. That didn’t make me feel insignificant. In fact, it was a relief. My mistakes, no matter how disastrous they felt in the moment, were as meaningless as a p-value over 0.05.

Realising that everyone around me at the IDM was struggling just as much (if not more) made me feel less alone. And from that came a deeper understanding: the difference between me, the UCT Immunology Honours student, and me, the girl who arrived with a vague plan to do something with my life. There was a part of me, untouched by protocols and panic, that was still growing, still learning, and still very much alive.

Yes, I dropped a full, fresh box of sterile pipette tips on the floor. And yes, I repeatedly forgot to check my cultures. But I also discovered my dream job, made some great friends, and didn’t spill on my lab coat once. The work never got easier and honestly, I’m not sure I ever got better at it. But somewhere along the way, I found some flippers. And they helped me to keep swimming.