Health Science Reviews

By Juanita Nwachukwu

Besides my ruined sleep routines, looming deadlines, and what seems like a fast-moving game where the player drops an avatar to play without reading the game’s rules or storylines, we all know what I am talking about: we all skipped those guidelines and told ourselves, “I’ll figure it out as it goes.” It makes me smile thinking about this analogy.

Though I was repeatedly told that honours is the toughest year in academia, I cannot say that I completely agree with what I have been told. Don’t get me wrong, the sheer workload and level of critical thinking required have shocked me at times. The number of conversations and lessons that have literally flown over my head has made me question my intelligence and brought out high levels of doubt and anxiety. I catch myself wondering if I might be suffering from imposter syndrome, and I feel this experience confirms it too.

But I digress. You see, Honours has pushed me out of my comfort zone by changing my style of thinking and, little by little, allowing me to appreciate those conversations more. In some way, I aspire to reach the level of my supervisors and the senior students, to learn from their insights and engage in these thought-provoking discussions. I find myself using phrases such as, “There’s a research study done by…” or “I read X study, but a study done by Y seems to counter X.” Trust me, that inner shock is funny too. But the Literature Review write up is quite a tearful adventure, I won’t lie.

Another thing that shocked me more was the kindness, assistance, and attentiveness from my supervisors and as well as the students from my division, students that have gone and passed through this process have supported and provided insights into our different projects . Some part of my brain tells me that because they already know the “danger” ahead, it is best to balance it with positivity and understanding. From the moment they welcomed us until now, the whole experience and load have felt like a shared and group effort. Although those articles aren’t really a group thing, I have hardly felt alone in this, and for that, my appreciation outweighs the heavy doubts and anxiety.

I am not a gamer, in fact, far from it, but those few games I have played to either pass time alone or have fun with my siblings seem to have caught up with my reality. Hitting pause quite a few times, I can confidently say that if I had to choose to do this again, I would click “Start” without hesitation, knowing that there is a goal to reach, some fun to be had, and a rollercoaster of emotions to go through.