Health Science Reviews

by Lilitha Cengani

In the dimly lit corners of my mind lies a weathered time worn crate. Its battered exterior tells a story of its own, one of adversity yet despite this it is a crate I continue to carry with me. You see, this crate was not designed to merely carry possessions but the weight of my doubt, my memories, and my dreams. Taking the leap of pursuing my Honours at UCT and entering the world of science has not only compelled me to stand before it, but rummage through the treasures buried inside it.

Just like the vibrancy of summer, the year blossomed with the welcoming warmth of my conveners and several neuroscientists eager to share their knowledge and willingness to address the burden of many diseases. MRI, EEG, immunohistochemistry, patch clamp experiments and my very first research project all felt like a guide to my childhood memory of wanting to become a scientist and explore the wonders of the human mind, but like many, my honours journey was not without its shadows.

As the year progressed, realities surrounding a researcher became more apparent. Long buried moments of doubt buried within the crate began to resurface. Days turned into hours spent behind a brightly lit screen poring over research articles and relying on two-hour naps, much like clear skies of summer shifted into looming clouds. I found myself in crossroads thinking of whether to continue to rummage or shove the precarious pile of my aspirations, dreams and doubts back into the crate and leave it behind. 

Every encounter this year made me realise despite the thought, I had to bear the weight of these treasures and it was a weight I could not carry on my own. The support of my friends, family and my supervisors gave me the support and motivation I needed to continue. The science I found went beyond lab experiments and data visualisation, but more making research making a tangible impact. Among the handful of cherished memories, doubt, dreams, and aspirations I’ve carried with me, this year, in these final moments, with my brain admittedly fried, stands as one I will carry with me.