Health Science Reviews

by Sithuthukile Madonsela

‘Gowisha’ is a slang term in IsiXhosa which means to be going through a lot, and if I had to choose one word to sum up my honours year thus far it would have to be this one. Despite being told by my friends who completed their honours last year that it was no joke, I hand- on-my-heart did not expect it to be as challenging of a year as it has been. This year has been challenging in several aspects. The first, and most obvious, challenge was related to academics. From our techniques module at the beginning of the year which required us to be in the dissection hall every day from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., to our content-heavy module courses, I have never been under as much academic pressure as I have been this year. The second challenge I faced this year was moving to a new city by myself. I can’t count how many times this year I honestly would’ve sold one of my kidneys if it meant spending just one night at home with my family. The third challenge was a mental one. You know those negative voices that creep into your head and tell you that you aren’t good enough? Or that you only got into this honours programme by luck? Yeah, I struggled a lot with imposter syndrome this year. Despite these struggles, and trust me there’s been plenty more, I’ve managed to stay kicking and keep fighting. One thing my dad always tells me and my brother when we’re going through one of life’s many rough patches is that time is always moving and everything passes. If I hadn’t constantly been reminding myself of this, I don’t think I’d be here, right now, lying in bed in the dark writing this reflection piece at 00:15 am. But I’m writing this with a grateful heart, a heart that has been hurt and tempted to harden, but a healed heart, nonetheless. I’m so grateful to God and proud of myself for getting through this whirlwind of a year. I’m proud of myself for being there for myself during my loneliest moments; I’m proud of myself for getting up on days when all I wanted to do was stay in bed and feel sorry for myself; but most of all I’m proud of the independent, resilient, and hard-working woman this year has moulded me into. I truly can say I’ve grown so much despite gowisha’ring.