Health Science Reviews

by Yanga Pato

I had a plan, a well thought plan but transformation disrupted the execution phase. I guess that is how life works, it’s not supposed to be a linear journey, and sometimes everything does not obey our plans. I used to believe that positive outcomes were the cornerstone of triumph, but I was wrong. My transformation journey was not only about the geographical change of moving to Cape Town or the academic shift from biological sciences to health sciences, but it also encompassed a multitude of resilience that was to happen along the way.

My first steps into neuroscience were full of adventure and possibility, as I eased myself into the course, I was welcomed with warmth from convenors, my supervisor Dr Dangarembizi, down to my classmates. As I began to learn and uncover what the degree entailed, I was proud to be a part in the class of 2023. The idea of personal victories and an enduring sense of accomplishment was my driving fuel. However, it wasn’t long before I faced the reality of what was. I found myself struggling in places I used to thrive in. The academic pressure and fear of failure were the lenses I used to magnify my way around the degree. Excelling was the measurement of my capabilities, and yet the scales tipped to favour the lowest units.

In these moments I had an ally, a companion that I was strongly attached to-imposter syndrome. I dined and wined with it, I presented and wrote my exams with it. As time went on, I realised regardless of the outcomes I did not give up. I showed up tired, I showed up burnt out, I showed up after failing, and I showed up conjoined with imposter syndrome, it was clear that even in my losing, I was somehow winning. I started to appreciate the little things, and the sum of those things without minusing the shedding process was me growing into what I wanted to be, though the process had changed, the destination still remained the same. I learnt that inorder to unlock true transformation, there must be a balance of wins and losses. Within the spectrum of positivity and negativity, there exists beauty and power in both joy and despair. Each challenge, each moment of doubt, is an opportunity for growth and self-improvement.

Dare I say ngaphandle kwe nguqu asinokuze siqaqambe. I am transformed!